Recently in the media there has been a lot of conversations, demonstrations resulting in an overall shift about women banding together and empowering each other. I think this is fantastic.
One area that seems to have fallen through the cracks is the relationship between step-mom and biological mom. I continually read and hear many blogs, online support groups and individual conversations about the frustration, agony, annoyance, disrespect, disregard and hatred at times between stepmoms and bio moms. In today’s day and age where we preach and teach tolerance, where we talk about lifting each other up and empowering each other as women, shouldn’t we also then be looking for ways to do that between stepmoms and bio moms? Isn’t our plight in the family and society the same?
We all want happiness, we all want acceptance, we all want forgiveness, we all want family, support, compassion and love. Isn’t it time to find a way to connect with each other? Not as a mom or stepmom, but as women who are in this crazy mess together. Instead of finding the negative in each other, be grateful that you get to share in your family together, that you now have a support network instead of figuring it out alone. Sit down and talk. Go for coffee. Walk the dog. Drink some wine. Neither of you thought that your life would comprise of a broken relationship, blending others into it and having children all in the mess, however, you certainly have the power to make the very best of it. So because you are in it together with the same goal of being a loving, supportive person for the children and creating a happy space for all, empower each other to be the best person you can be, especially to each other.
The pillars of our families are the women, through every culture, religion and generation. Not just a mom and not just a stepmom. The pillars of each family are all the women in it. They hold it together. All the women in each family help and support each other. So when a stepmom enters the family, she too is not one of those pillars. It should be the job of the mom to welcome that force and support and it should be the job of the stepmom to learn from and support that mom. Find something in common with each other that you can connect to. Be the example and continue that tradition. The children look to their families as examples of how they should be in society and eventually to their own families, if all they see is bickering and fighting you both, moms and stepmoms, have then contributed to the demise of the next generation for you have failed to teach them love, tolerance, inclusion, compassion, understanding and forgiveness.
As women around the world are gaining a greater voice and becoming bigger leaders in the world, to all the moms and stepmoms out there, let this be a new beginning for you both, come together as leaders of your families. Lead by example. Your heart, your family, your children, your community and society as a whole will thank you.