A new year marks a new beginning. If 2017 was the end of a relationship let 2018 be the year to put old feelings aside, forget the past and start over. Here are a few resolutions to get you started.
As the saying goes, there are two people in a relationship and therefore, a divorce is never solely one person’s fault. Maybe there was something about the breakdown of your marriage for which you need to forgive yourself? Or if you were blindsided by the divorce, maybe you have to forgive yourself for ignoring the warning signs? Either way, forgiving yourself is the first and most important step to the healing process for you and your family.
Forgive your ex
Though we often don’t realize it, forgiveness is as much for the person who grants it as for the person who receives it. Forgiving your ex frees yourself from any bond or emotion that is still tied to them. You don’t have to forget – remember the lesson, but forgive and move on.
Update your will, trusts, insurance policies, estate plans, finances, schedules and home that has any old information tying you to your ex. Consider these steps if applicable:
Name a new executor for your will.
Update your beneficiary designations for life insurance policies and pensions (unless your divorce agreement calls for your ex-spouse to remain the beneficiary of these).
Name two powers of attorney: one for medical decisions and one for financial matters. You could designate one person for both roles, or choose two different people based on each individual’s knowledge and experience.
Separate your bank accounts and investments
Create new schedules for yourself and your kids (if applicable)
Start to purge some items from your home that tie you to your past
Being separated or getting divorced means you are on your own now. Part of making the transition easier is finding some hobbies you are interested in again, having new social experiences and creating new supports and friendships. These will help steer you into a new happy life. Try some new things in 2018 and get yourself involved.
It seems scary and unfamiliar being newly single, however, it could be worth a shot to get back out there and get to know who this new version of yourself is. Go on a date, whether it’s a simple coffee, a romantic dinner or a crazy night of dancing, this may be the year to put yourself out there and find that special someone for you. Look at dating sites or have a friend set you up or just be bold and take the chance to ask someone out. However you start is a step forward to a more confident and positive you.
While making resolutions are great, sticking to them is the hardest part. Hold yourself accountable by telling a friend or writing them down, this can ensure that you stick to them. Though 2017 may have been one for the record books in terms of emotional chaos, 2018 can be the start of a positive transition to the next stage of your life. Take a chance because a chance on yourself is always worth the risk.