So recently I learned that sometimes loving someone you have to let them go. Now of course I knew this in my head. I have been taught this, expressed this to others, shared this in teachings but also forgot about it in my own life. It’s not like I haven’t practiced this in the past but it had been a long time so I was rusty on the concept and feeling until recently.
When you love someone of course you want to hang on to them for dear life but sometimes you don’t realize that hanging on doesn’t always hold them in, it can definitely push them away. Without going into too much detail and to preserve anonymity for the person who I am talking about, recently letting go has saved a relationship for me. Now this is someone who is close to me and no not my husband, that is solid, but with someone else who is very dear to me. I could feel us drifting apart for some time which made me try even harder to keep that person close. But this was not working, it was only getting worse and we were growing farther apart. So, after much deliberation I spoke to a wise woman who showed me that it was ok to let go. That letting go may and will in fact bring us closer together. Together in a way that was free and natural rather than feeling forced. I knew this was the right thing to do for some time but was hard so I resisted.
So later that day I spoke to my dear loved one and let her feel ok to go. I let her know that she will always be loved and that our relationship is strong. For the first time in a long time it felt that the cloud had moved and finally the sun was over us again and it felt warm and wonderful. For the first time in a long time it felt natural and actually like love again. You see, love doesn’t always mean that you need to have your loved ones around. It doesn’t always mean that they have to be there in your presence in order to show them your love. It means you give them the freedom to give and receive love naturally. That no matter where they are you love them and show them that, whether it be through gifts, going out, simple messages, a call or sometimes just giving them space to grow themselves. Maya Angelou often spoke about love and one thing she said that resonates with me and it is something that I had forgotten until recently is that “Love Liberates. It doesn’t hold, that’s the ego. Love Liberates.” This couldn’t be truer. Love doesn’t only liberate the one who leaves but it liberates the one who wants to hang on. That was me, I was hanging on and holding strong. I finally surrendered, and in all honesty, I am a spiritual person so gave it to God as I didn’t know how to let go and then it happened. I found peace. I let go. I let go of my ego and I came to an understanding that love has no borders or boundaries or limits. It liberated me and brought peace to my heart, mind and soul. So, when my dear loved one said she wanted to go, I finally felt at peace and loved even more because I was happy to let her go. I was happy to let her be free to feel my love rather than my ego.
When you are feeling like you are in a storm because you are hanging on to your loved ones, whether it is your husband, wife, children, step-children, parents or friend, surrender yourself. Whether it be to God, the universe, a higher being, mother nature, the wind, the sun or whatever you believe, surrender yourself, loosen the reigns and let love liberate you and your beloved. You will have peace with them but most of all you will have peace with yourself. As the song goes…”let it go, let it go, let it go.”